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Getting Help

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Leading by Example

Dr. James Dobson once said, “we don’t raise kids, we raise adults.”  That is the real goal of parenting.  As fathers, we all want to raise our sons up to be virtuous young men.  To do this, we must first lead by example.  While our son’s may not listen to us often, they are constantly observing us and taking mental notes.  This is why we fathers must always strive to live virtuous lives.  Through this we can show our sons what it means to be effective leaders, providers and protectors.  This principle applies to all areas of life, including sexual integrity.  If we want our sons to avoid pornography, we must not only teach them about the dangers of porn, we must also live pure lives ourselves, avoiding porn at all costs.  Thus, in addition to monitoring our kids’ Internet use, we must show them that our Internet use is also monitored.  It means cancelling our subscription to Sports Illustrated because we don’t want the Swimsuit Issue in our homes.  We avoid certain television shows or networks because of sexual content and we don’t ogle women in public.  Above all, our actions will teach our sons how to treat women.  If our actions use women sexually, that is the way our sons will treat women.  If we treat women with respect, that is the way our sons will treat women.  Throughout their childhood, adolescent and even young adult years, we need to have regular “man-to-man” talks with our sons to form them into healthy men; however, our actions will speak louder than words.  Lead by example!